But I knew Sam Hunt’s concern trolling and borderline spite against his ex was toxic when you look at the bigger picture, so I got really angry at songs like “Make You Miss Me” and “Break Up In A Small Town” for wallowing in self-pity and guilt-tripping this girl into taking him back. I ended up doing a lot of projection against Sam Hunt and his music, especially since some of his feelings and his fractured relationship with his ex mirrored what I was going through at the time. This was year two of me after getting rejected by the girl I liked and since then she’d started dating one of our mutual friends and our friendship was kind of fractured by my awkwardness and inadvertently bringing attention to the fact that I was still into her. I know exactly where I was when I wrote them. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to look back at some of my reviews from 2016. A lot of songs on the album exhibited really bitter, passive-aggressive sentiments framed through the lens of a hopeless romantic who just wanted his girl back. Sam Hunt’s debut album, Montevallo, was pretty explicitly about Sam Hunt’s breakup with his high school sweetheart. He was starting to be crowned the prince of country for being the only artist during the post-bro country drought to have songs with pop crossover that weren’t total flukes. That year, I ended up gravitating toward one specific artist and constantly berating him for what I considered at the time to be toxic, abhorrently immature lyrics. I started writing about music in late 2015, but my first full year was in 2016. Why do I keep letting this one person completely dominate my mind when we should have closed the book on this long ago? I resented myself whenever I got jealous of her dating someone else because I was “supposed” to be happy for them. Getting all sad and mopey over a girl and trying to act like I wasn’t doing that. I didn’t let myself wallow in my feelings enough because I didn’t think that was the “mature” thing to do. But my real mistake was letting them affect me so much to the point where I convinced myself I had already grown past them. I alluded to it a lot in last year’s favorite songs of the year list. I made a lot of immature mistakes in my past, especially throughout high school. We should feel that heaviness in our hearts after a really bad fight with a friend or a test that stresses us out to the point of exhaustion. We should let that first breakup feel like the end of the world. We kind of have to go through those cringy, regrettable moments of our past if we want to grow from them and become a better person in the immediate future. While that’s technically true, I don’t think it’s all that productive to imply that none of those feelings “matter”. I used to hear a lot of sentiments that your first breakup isn’t the end of the world, or that what’s important to you in high school won’t matter when you eventually graduate and move on to different schools or lifestyles. Now with experiences behind you that you can either grow from or let them infect you into your adult life.īut growing up doesn’t mean that what you felt in your younger years is no longer valid. Your teenage and early adult years are where you learn from whatever mistakes you’ve made and allow yourself to grow into a different person. You’re expected to at least grow up a little after high school. What about the emotional part? My relationships, my mental health, my satisfaction with the life I have now? That’s a lot trickier. Should I pursue the career I spent four years of my life studying for? Do I step back for a second and just work until I find the motivation to go to grad school or find a higher-paying job? Do I spend the next decade of my life in my parent’s house because finding affordable places to live is hell and just do what I love while getting paid pity change at a dead-end job? It’s a lot to take in, and what I end up doing with my life is up for fate to decide.īut that’s just the financial part of growing up. From here I have a lot of choices to make. Last week I graduated college and earned my undergraduate degree, which is usually someone’s first real step into adulthood.
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